There are essentially three types of costs associated with pursuing a mail order bride:
- Communication Costs: Basically the fees you will pay agencies to communicate with women until you find one that you really click with.
- Travel Expenses: Airfare, hotel, and taxi services can add up in a hurry if you are not careful. This depends on how often you travel to her country and varies widely depending on how luxurious you insist on traveling.
- Bureaucratic Charges : Charges for visas and passports are basically fairly cheap, but if something is amiss and you have to hire an immigration lawyer.
Average Cost of a Mail Order Bride
The minimum costs required to find and marry a foreign lady are probably around $5000 if you quickly meet the woman of your dreams and bring her over without multiple trips to visit her first.
And you could do it for even less if you fly her straight to your country without a visit to meet her first, perhaps as low as $1200. This used to be considered a crazy approach, but recently that has changed because of technology changes.
But those numbers would be hard to pull off – not impossible – just a steep challenge.
Realistically, the average cost of pursuing a mail order bride is somewhere between somewhere $15,000 and $30,000. Those are very realistic numbers, but you don’t have to pay that all at once.
You just need to be able to budget that amount over the time of your search and most men probably spend from nine months to two years or so on their romantic quests.
One additional cost that you need to remember is the ongoing expenses related to having an extra person in your household and because she is from overseas those expenses are probably going to be higher. She is probably not going to bring a gigantic wardrobe, so that first year she is going to buy a lot of new clothes. The same sort of process applies to a lot of other things.
You might end up buying some new furniture, kitchen utensils, or curtains that you would have bought if you had remained a bachelor. Just keep this in mind.
Eventually, perhaps your new wife will get a job and help out with expenses, but you should probably plan to spend the same amount of time and money on the acclimation process as you did on the romance.
So, if it took you a year and $18,000 then you should assume it will take about the same amount of time and money for you and her to fully integrate into a working family.
Breaking Down the Expenses – AND – Possible Ways to Save
In the old days, it would have been downright crazy to bring some woman you have never met straight home to live with you without so much as laying eyes on her, but today if you met her on one of the dating agencies with good video chat services.
Finding a mail order bride is about romance and that requires communication, communication about the deepest and most emotional thought. You and your lady have to develop a mutual understanding of goals, hopes, and dreams.
With video chat you can hear the voice of the woman you are interested in and look into her eyes and see her reactions. It really helps to communicate a lot of those esoteric, emotional issues that you both have to communicate.
AnastasiaDate has done a particularly good job in providing their clients with a range of communication tools, but high definition video chat is still video chat. It is more expensive, but it might cut down on the number of times you needed to travel to go see a lady.
Still, it is easy to spend $500 communicating with a woman you are interested in and possible to spend much more. Guessing averages is difficult, but most men probably spend at least $1,000 to $1,500 on the communication stage of the romance.
Then it is always best to meet a woman you are considering marrying in her home country. You can try to do all of the planning on your own. In that case the airfare is probably going to be at least $1,500 for each trip you make, plus another perhaps another $1,500 to spend a week in Ukraine, Thailand, Brazil, or wherever, but of course you can spend a great deal more.
Some agencies offer individual help, but the most popular approach is probably to take a romance tour.
These tours are popular, because you can personally meet several ladies you have already contacted online and also meet other women. Loveme.com is the industry leader they do several dozen tours every year and the costs vary widely depending on where you are going and how long you are going to stay.
The best thing about the tours is that the tour companies have an infrastructure in place to help you in each country. They provide trustworthy translators and other help you will need. Plus, they can really give you helpful personal advice to make it easier to overcome the cultural issues and get the insight you need to make the right decision for you and the lady you are considering marrying.
If things go well and a ceremony will be performed, it is necessary to file a K1 Visa. The fee for this is $450, but $250 is usually needed to pay for translation of the documents. The main thing is to follow the proper procedures, because if you ended up needing an immigration attorney to correct problems, mistakes, or omissions the price can shoot through the roof in a hurry.
A good immigration attorney can charge $500 an hour and billable hours tend to accrue in a hurry.
Is it worth it for you to consider a mail order bride?
That depends on your situation. Do you have the basic financial resources? Are you flexible enough to meet a woman, probably a younger woman, from a different culture and build a deep lasting relationship.
It does require work. You have to learn about one another’s strengths and weaknesses. You have to get at least some idea of the woman’s habits and personal deportment. Most importantly, you have to come to a general agreement about the nature of your relationship, so you both have similar expectations.
Those are all tough enough to communicate in person, but they are especially difficult to communicate over vast distances to someone you have never met who probably speaks a different language and grew up in a different culture.
But statistics show that ever year, thousands of mail order brides come to this country. Over three quarters of these marriages end happily and are long lasting.
If you end up happily married then the price of a mail order bride is a bargain. Think about the price of mail order brides like this, it is simply a matter of keeping up with changing times.
Globalization of Dating
Today’s modern era rarely includes a person meeting another face to face and spending a long time in a relationship before marriage. For many busy professionals that is tough. We all want to have an old fashioned romance, but with the constant stream of email, chat, and cell phones it is not easy.
Most men move out of their hometowns for college and keep moving following the job market, particularly in the United States and Europe. It makes marrying the girl next door a much rarer event than a hundred years ago.
And men are living longer healthier lives. At one time widowers were a rare phenomenon. Today, for better and worse that is not the case.
International brides are an option for many men, because of the ease of modern travel and communications. A great number of these women have high intelligence and cultural values. Many come with an ingrained respect for marriage and place family before a career.
All of these qualities make them excellent mates. When considering this path to marriage, it is important to understand the costs associated with pursuing a foreign bride, before you meet that stunning young Ukrainian pediatrician or the beautiful Thai college student online.
For most reasonably successful Western men from the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, or Europe the expenses are reasonable with a little planning.
Mail Order Bride Specifications
There are NO specifications!
Mail order brides come in an infinite number of shapes, sizes, and ages like all women. Human beings are complex and dynamic, especially in the context of a relationship and that is an important distinction between products and people.
Part of the problem is that in the modern English speaking cultures social status and economic eligibility are not usually overtly acknowledged as a factors worth considering in the courtship process, though they are often still unspoken factors as any Porsche salesman will tell you; covertly, almost any lady would rather date a rich guy than a poor guy assuming everything else is equal.
Other cultures are less covert and an educated professional with financial assets evident, such as the possession of a fancy car and a nice house, make a person an extremely eligible marriage prospect.
Higher echelons of western culture did subscribe to arranged marriages for centuries. No one married his daughter off to Henry VIII for anything but financial and political gain – plain and simple.
The principle of marrying for social and economic compatibility may have been downplayed in recent history as aristocracy and privilege have tended to merge with a cult of celebrity status.
In English speaking communities young people usually form their own relationships which may or may not lead to marriage. A new friend may be taken home to meet parents but their approval is not regarded as being imperative.
Even in the privileged classes where arranged marriages have been the norm there have been instances of people asserting their independent choice.
The Internet has transformed many aspects of the world in the few decades since its advent. Typewriters have been become obsolete and newspapers are showing signs of going the same way.
Newspapers and magazines were used by people who wished to advertise their availability for marriage in the past and now online dating sites are increasingly being used instead.
Online dating sites offer a compromise between traditional methods of arranging marriages and the free and independent methods of romantic marriage. From a lap top one can search the world across many cultures and thousands of interested people.
Once the initial contact is made many details have to be filled in, often with family assistance, but the element of independent choice remains strong.
Aspirant brides are told to be wary. So too should be men who contact women, some of whom could be cruel and ruthless. Or at least that is the myth that feminist professors desperate for tenure often spin out to the public.
However all marriage entail risks and some people think that online dating sites can be a great improvement on the ways that things were done in the past.
Mail Order Brides = Modern Romance
For the feminist critics the term mail order bride is applied with a touch of disparagement. But these are not arranged marriages in the traditional sense. Sometimes the man is a great deal older than bride, but not always. And the legitimate industry really focuses on the romantic aspects of the process.
In fact, in some regards the entire process is a romantic adventure ripped straight out of popular romance novels.
LoveMe.com, is one of the oldest company’s in the industry and they make it clear that they are trying very hard to encourage romance – not casual sex or quick pickups. The ADVICE they give is outstanding.
And Elena’s Models practically screams ROMANCE.
Successful marriages and long term relationships are the outcome of a romance between two people. In some cultures that actually did have a tradition of arranged marriages romance, such as it was came after marriage.
In many world cultures it is believed that marriage contracts should be arranged by families and not by individuals. This does not always preclude girls and boys from having a say in the matter that affects their lives.
In some societies a girl may reject the person who her parents select for her, and only agree to a marriage when they feel that they can grow to love their marriage partner. In different societies there are different degrees of independence permitted.
The contemporary mail order bride industry does not easily fit within the traditional notions of arranged marriage, because the romance is the key component to the process and it comes before everything else.
A Few Rules About “Mail Order Brides”
Let’s get something straight right off the bat; MAIL ORDER BRIDES ARE NOT FOR SALE.
That is called Slavery and in has been out of fashion for quite some time!
It is also the most repugnant notion imaginable and could very well lead to your incarceration.
“Mail order bride” is a title left over from the early days of International Dating. Back in the days before the internet, communication between Western men and foreign women was very cumbersome, so much so that many men would just find a girl in a catalog and bring her to the USA before really getting to know her.
Of course this created all sorts of problems, so the term “Mail Order Brides” was coined.
This unfortunate label is probably the single biggest factor in the stigma that is still attached to the International marriage industry. It leaves the practice open for ridicule from uneducated people in forums, blog comments and the media.
Two of the most common questions I am asked are:
- Do I need to pay the shipping on my mail order bride?
- Does my mail order bride come with a 30 day guarantee?
If you are one of the guys who asked this question… Get some new material!