There’s been a huge shift in how the traditional family unit is viewed in Western countries. Where once men and women viewed having a family as an important part of their lives, this has now been replaced by the drive for a successful career and material possessions.
By the 1970s Western women viewed themselves as being finally free from the “white, male patriarchal oppression” that had controlled every aspect of their lives since the day they were born. This was the same system they blamed for their lack of fulfillment and unhappiness that drove them to drive for equality in the first place.
The side effect of this is that American and European families are now smaller than they have been in decades, with fewer children being born. Western women view children as being a burden rather than a blessing, and marriage is treated the same way.
Or, at least women take this stance until they’re 38 and suddenly realize that a career, big house, foreign holidays and a checking account crammed with cash isn’t a legacy. It also explains why, when surveyed, the vast majority of Western women are now more unhappy with their lives than ever before.
Western men now have no choice but to look overseas for their brides-to-be, and it’s not a decision they take lightly.
But, now that there’s so many men looking for “mail order brides”, doesn’t that mean the market has become saturated by single guys looking for a woman to get married to?
Certain countries can feel like that, but in this article we want to share with you a real diamond in the rough on the international dating scene: Africa.
Very few men have taken the time to consider Africa as somewhere they might just find the woman of their dreams. There are reasons for this, which we’ll cover later in the article.
For right now all you need to know is that this is a place filled with opportunity for guys willing to go that extra mile.
What You Need To Know
You’re probably still asking yourself why Western guys aren’t swarming across Africa in droves to find single women, especially considering we’ve said it’s a great place to do that.
There’s a simple answer: Internet access
Most countries in Africa are still developing, and they often lack the level of national infrastructure we take for granted in North America, Europe and Australasia. Things like modern roads, clean drinking water and access to the world wide web are reserved for those people living in the larger cities of any African nation.
These amenities are also the reason why so many Africans are moving from rural areas to the larger cities.
Now, that’s not to say that anywhere outside of Lagos, Nairobi, or Accra are desolate wastelands inhabited by impoverished people. It just means that many Africa nations are still years away from having national Internet access in place, possibly decades. The distances to cover are so vast that doing the math on it would give you an instant tension headache.
Getting information on how the dating scene works on this mysterious continent can be very difficult, and that’s what puts most guys off even trying. That’s also the reason we put this article together for you.
What Do African Women Look Like?
This is a really difficult question to answer because Africa is made up of 54 different countries, and thousands of individual tribes. Even within a given country you’ll find that women can look completely different to each other depending on what part of the country they live in.
Then you have to factor in European and colonial influences in different countries, and this doesn’t just mean “white” influences either. It’s important to understand that you’ll see Arab and Indian influences in the genetic makeup of women here.
So, while you might be able to categorize women from any South Saharan nation as having dark skin, short dark hair and dark eyes, the same simply wouldn’t be true of women from Ethiopia, Somalia, Morocco or South Africa.
What you can rest assure of you, and regardless of your own ethnicity, you will find women here that tick every box on your checklist, and then some.
Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder, and that’s something you should definitely bear in mind when looking for single African women for marriage.
Leave your assumptions and ego at the front door, and judge African women on their merit first and then their looks, because that’s exactly how she’ll judge you.
What you can rest assured of is that once you find the perfect African girl to marry, her smile will light up any room she walks into.
Bear in mind that an overweight woman can be viewed as being the most desirable in a group, but only in certain African cultures. It’s a sign that her parents can afford for her to eat enough food to put on all those extra pounds, which also means that her family is wealthy.
Elsewhere you’ll find that African women care about their appearance, and that obesity is very rare. They treat their bodies the same way that Eastern European women do i.e. with a lot of care.
It’s easy to make generalizations about countries you’ve never been to, and the same generalizations can apply to the women living there. So, while you might assume that every African girl you meet will have come from an impoverished background, that’s not always the truth. And it’s those same assumptions that can sink your chances of romance before it even starts.
Yes, there are millions of African women who will have come from poverty you can’t begin to understand, and yes, a Western guy with a regular salary of $40,000 will seem like royalty to them. But you shouldn’t take advantage of that, because the girl you’re about to fall in love with might have grown up poor, but her pride remains intact.
With that being said, women from almost every African country will welcome the opportunity to meet, date, fall in love with and marry a Western guy. Being married to you opens up a world of opportunities to her that she could never otherwise enjoy, and not just for her but her family too.
It’s going to be very tempting to puff out your chest and even boast about how well off you are, but this will lead to two obvious problems:
First – It’s completely unnecessary. The girl will see your situation and quality of life as an unimaginable world of luxury compared with what she has grown up with and been accustomed to. She will already be very impressed, so it is pointless to exaggerate just to make yourself feel more important.
Second – She will find out that you are lying, if you do lie about anything. Your girlfriend/wife will end up living with you and experiencing first-hand what sort of life you really lead, and when she does that will be a deal-breaker for her.
You see, once she’s living in your home country she’ll wise up to how things really work. And if she realizes that you’ve simply made stuff up about your finances, she’ll then quickly learn to resent you for that. She wants to marry a Western guy to get away from lazy, self-interested men, so she doesn’t need that from you.
If you really want the relationship to work, you must be frank with the women you meet. Let her know what you do, how things in your country work, and what sort of life she can expect with you. African brides aren’t stupid, so never assume that to be the case.
In addition, you can avoid future arguments caused by any lies you told her at the start. Being honest will ensure that your relationship gets off to a good start.
And that’s as true of single African women as it is for women anywhere on this planet.
African women face a lot of challenges when it comes to choosing a husband.
One that might surprise you is that certain African cultures simply will not intermarry.
So, even if a Congolese girl falls in love with a Nigerian dude, there’s a strong chance her parents might oppose the marriage. In fact, most African mothers would prefer their daughter marry a white foreigner rather than an African man from another culture – to them the cultural divides are just as vast.
Yes, that does mean that you face the challenge of proving yourself not only to your African girlfriend, but also to her family. It’s a common belief here that love obscures commonsense, so she’ll probably have her parents, aunts and uncles asking her what her future in a foreign country, living in a foreign culture, will really be like for her. Smart guys will prepare for those conversations in advance.
Something that is of huge value to her is respect, including for who she is, her country, her cultural values, and for her family. In fact, one of the key reasons she’s looking for a North American or European man for marriage is that she’s grown tired of the lack of respect shown to her by men from her own country. Be the guy who transcends that, and you’ll win her heart without too much effort.
Obviously, it won’t just be white guys traveling to Africa looking for love and romance, but a lot of African American, Indian and Arabian guys too. This isn’t a problem because interracial marriages aren’t frowned upon here, as long as you can prove that you’re a man of true worth, and that doesn’t just mean how much money you have in your bank account.
Your future African wife will have a lot of reasons for wanting to marry a foreigner. One of these is that they want to marry a man who is more open-minded towards a woman enjoying real freedom and equality, which is something she simply can’t find in her more traditional and controlling society. Women, to a certain extent, are still treated like a commodity in most African countries, and the “bride price” practice (a dowry) is proof of that.
She understands that Western guys view their wives as being their partner, equal in everything in life, sharing the responsibilities of growing and caring for the family you build together. African families have to work together to ensure there’s enough food on the table and that they can survive into the next generation so this work ethic is part of who she is as a person.
We’ve already mentioned that her family is very important to her, as is her desire to start her own family. Your African fiancée will want to have kids as soon as possible, and it won’t be just one or two children. African families tend to be quite large because the children are expected to care for their parents in their old age.
That’s not necessarily the reason she’ll want to start a family with you, but she will expect to have kids, so it’s important that you’re both clear on that from the early days of your relationship.
Normally we get to talk about the differences between one Asian culture and Western countries, but that’s not something we can do here.
Again, because Africa is made up of at least 50 different countries, and each country is comprised of multiple tribes. Each tribe will then have its own cultural values, which can differ completely from a tribe living just a short distance away.
We’ve already touched on the point that African women can sometimes be prohibited from marrying men from other African tribes by their parents. To be fair this is something that happens in Asian countries too, particularly in India.
Something else to be aware of is that African women tend to get married quite young, usually by the age of 22. Any African woman who is still single into her mid 20s will be viewed as being “unaccomplished” in life. Now, that doesn’t mean that every single girl in Africa has to be married by 22, but it’s a cultural norm here. It also means that single women in their 20s will be very eager to find a man to settle down and start a family with.
Another cultural difference to be aware of is something called the “bride price”. This is an exchange of “wealth” to be paid by the husband-to-be to the bride’s family. Sometimes this is just a token amount, handed over to honor the tradition. But in many African countries the “bride price” can be quite substantial, and include cattle, cash, real estate, or a combination of the three.
The bride price is never a set amount, so again, this is something you need to discuss with your girlfriend well in advance of when you get married. This is exactly why it’s important to not exaggerate how much money you make when you first meet – you might be expected to pay over far more money than is normal for a bride price because you boasted about money you don’t actually have.
It’s also important to mention that marrying foreigners is not allowed in certain African countries and cultures, especially the ones that are predominantly Muslim. If you’re a Muslim man looking for an African bride this won’t be a problem, but it obviously will be for Christian guys.
There are some rare circumstances were intermarriage might be allowed between a Muslim and a Christian, but usually only if the Christian guy offers to convert to Islam as part of the deal.
Lavish and expensive weddings are normal here, even if that’s just by local standards. Obviously you can afford a bigger wedding than her family could ever hope to pay for, and that ties in with the bride price. Basically, a big expensive wedding is a statement to the entire world of how well your family is doing, and is a way of showing off. Which is exactly why so many young couples in Western countries get themselves into a pile of debt – showing off to their friends.
Do African brides demand expensive weddings?
No, but their parents will expect you to make the effort.
Finding African Mail Order Brides
We already mentioned there’s not much internet access in most African nations, even in a country like South Africa, so using online dating is still something you can do, but with a couple of notes.
The first is that your girlfriend will have to use an Internet café to go online, unless she’s lucky enough to own a smartphone. Even if she does own a smartphone the data plans for them are usually so expensive she can’t afford them on a regular basis. So be patient when it comes to asking her to chat over Skype because that’s probably a big deal for her.
The second is that although African dating websites do exist, they cost $30 per month, which is probably more than she earns in an entire month. We normally advise that you avoid free dating websites like the plague, but you’ll need to make the most of them when looking for single African women.
The next thing to be aware of are the scams that take place in online dating in certain African countries. This typically involves a man and woman chatting to you online via the same laptop. The woman sits in front of the camera, while the man types on the keyboard, making sure that the conversation goes in the direction they want. In most cases the woman won’t even speak English – she’s just the face fronting the scam.
Another common scam is the “airline tickets” one. Certain women will, after several weeks of chatting to her, ask you to buy her a ticket so that she can visit you. You send the money for the tickets, and that’s the last you ever hear from her.
English is taught in schools throughout the continent, but you should take French lessons if you want to improve your dating and marriage prospects. French is spoken in many countries here, so you might actually have more luck on the dating scene by speaking French rather than English.
Romance tours aren’t really a thing here in terms of having an Internet presence, so you’ll have to do your fact finding and wife hunting on a more local level. You will find a small number of matchmaking agencies operating in South Africa, but again, this will only happen in the bigger cities.
You do have the option of using a “pen pal” service, although communication between you will take weeks between each message. Still though, African women love old-school romantic gestures, and what better way to achieve that than with a written letter? Plus, your penmanship could use the practice.
Getting Married in Africa
There are as many marriage customs and regulations as there are dating customs throughout Africa, so we’ll keep this section simple.
The best people to ask about the local marriage customs and laws are the girls you chat to via the dating sites. Getting married in a predominantly Muslim African country is obviously going to be a very different experience to getting married in a Christian country.
Just keep the “bride price” question at the back of your head at all times, because even though it’s now seen as being archaic in most modern African countries, that’s not to say that her parents won’t want to observe the tradition of receiving a dowry for their daughter.
The weird thing is that even though the “bride price” isn’t meant to matter anymore, there are certain African cultures that won’t recognize your marriage as being legal or bonding unless the dowry is paid in full.
Africa is one of the very few places left where the idea of international dating is still a complete novelty. You’ll find very, very few guys actually take the time to get to know women from any African country, and that’s their loss.
But as more and more African women see the lives enjoyed by Western women, they know they want to emulate that lifestyle, and marrying a Western guy is part of the transformation she wants to undergo.
|What does it cost to marry an African woman (excluding wedding)|
|Dating Site||$29 per month x 6 months||$174|
|Flights||$1000 x 4 (roundtrip prices)||$4,000|
|Romance Tour (optional)||n/a||n/a|
|Hotels/Apartment||$70 per night (2 x 14 day stay)||$1,960|
|Visa Costs||$2,025 (K1 spousal visa)||$2,025 (revised for 2018)